Home > Uncategorized > Finding my balance again…

Finding my balance again…

Before todays long run, I only had 30 miles under my belt since my marathon on Dec. 4th. This was due to my 2 week recovery where we ran less, me missing runs, and a 9-day period where I didn’t run at all because I was sick.  After being sick in November, I didn’t want to chance it this time so I took it easy.  I ran last Saturday, Monday, Wednesday, and cross-trained on Thursday this week so I’m getting back into the swing of things.  The Austin half-marathon is on 2/19 and I need to jump back into it with both feet to be ready.

I sure missed running.  I gained a few pounds over the holidays, which was to be expected with what I ate and the minimal running I was doing.  Now I’ll need to shave those pounds off before the Austin half.  I can do it.

But even more than the physical ways I missed running, my brain/psyche/heart missed it the most.  The majority of my holidays were filled with great times with family but unfortunately, there was one event that happened and it tore me up inside.  It was out of the blue, nothing I could’ve predicted, and nothing I expected.  It really worked me emotionally, big time.  I decided pretty quick that I wouldn’t let it shape this whole holiday for me so I focused on my family and made the best of it.  I had no control over this situation, all I could do is react and hope I was choosing right.  I was so fortunate to be surrounded by so many great family members though so it was easy to get distracted and wrapped up in what was going on around me.  But I was counting the days to when I would feel good enough to go run again because I knew I needed to press “reset” in my heart and a good run can always do that for me.

When I first started running, I cried almost every time I was out there.  I ran by myself, even after I started running with Rogue, because I had a lot of feelings and insecurities I had to work through first.  It touched me to my core that I was believing in myself, pushing myself far beyond my preconceived “limits”, and seeing success after success.  The tears just flowed and flowed.  I felt like running was an emotional and spiritual cleansing of sorts and once I worked through so much, I was able to join in with my teammates and open up more.  I’M SO GLAD I REACHED THAT POINT!  My Rogue ladies mean so, so, so very much to me.  I always love to see their smiling faces and hear about their successes on the road.  We have a true sisterhood and I know they’ve got my back.

But today, after everything that happened over the holidays, I had to go back to running by myself, turning up my iPod, and working things through in my head.  Over the first couple of miles, I chatted with Denise and Whitney and it was great!  But then I could feel I needed to peel off and just be by myself.  I also decided today that “easy pace” wouldn’t be my goal for this entire run.  This Coach’s Special route was TOUGH, lots of hills.  I ascended 2267 ft and descended 2397 ft, all in a SEVEN MILE span of distance.  But I still pushed past my easy pace because I needed to feel myself pushing hard those last handful of miles.  It felt SO GOOD, too.  I ended up running 7 in 1:22:45 and my overall pace was 11:49.  I’m leaving my Garmin on the whole time, no auto-pause or turning it off at lights/water stops.  Here were my splits:

12:33, 12:37, 12:04, 11:26, 12:27, 11:42, 9:52

This included two brief water stops and several lights, one that seemed to last forever.  I loved how I felt out there today.  I’m so grateful to have this outlet to help me celebrate the joys in my life and also to work through the tough times.

I did foot drills when I got back to Rogue and bought my Mac Attack shirt (it’s AWESOME and proceeds of this shirt go towards Rogues’ own Scotty Mac and Alison Mac, who are attempting to qualify at the Olympic trials soon – WOW!)  I think it’s double-cool that my last name happens to be MacAllister, by the way.  I’m wearing this shirt with pride.  Riding on the coattails, baby!  I sped home, took a 5 minute shower, and zipped Dylan over to his archery class by 9:35am.  Yes, I’m wearing my Super Mom cape today but I’m happy to be finding my balance again, spending time taking care of myself – body, mind, and soul.   Happy Running to you all!

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